Q and A

I’ll start off with some admissions right up front. Roller skiing is pretty darn goofy. It doesn’t look cool and there aren’t too many of us out there.

That being said, here is a list of actual questions, statements or actions that I encountered last night while skiing around town for about an hour.

“Are you a girl?” “Are you a man or woman?” “Do you crap your pants when you do that?” (Referring to going down hill.) “Are you a professional?” “Do you like that?” “Is it fun?” “Fagot!” The middle finger and horn combo. “You expecting snow?” “Get a car!” “What are those things?” Snickers and pointing from a group of corner standers. Something in Russian that I couldn’t understand. And finally, the male half a of a young couple said nothing, but made it a point to walk directly in front of me mid-block. Oh well.

I’ll address the aforementioned respectively: No. Male. No, but sometimes I feel like it. No, but I hear that there are vast sums of money in the sport and that’s why I’m practicing. Yes. Yes. The Urban Dictionary will help with the over used “faggot” in an attempt to insult skiers, cyclist and even runners. Try to mix it up! What can I say to the middle finger besides, no thank you. I’m not expecting snow, which is why these skiis have wheels. Look you fat turd, I have a car and it’s in the garage. I try to avoid its use for conservation reasons and because an active lifestyle is actually healthy. You might want to think about that and thank me now, because my insurance premiums will be funding your long-term medical care. These are roller skies. You can get a pair for yourself at Gear West. I’m not sure what you folks are snickering about. I learned my lesson and no longer wear the bright red, logo tights around town. Yeah, I know. I already admitted roller skies are goofy, even in Russian. Dude, cross walks were invented for a reason; your safety.